The Eyes Have It

Sexuality is in the eyes.  No doubt.  It's in a look, an expression.  There's where we find that promise or assurance that what we want is waiting.

Need I say more?

Happy Sunday!!

Discoveries

Well, 2011 was a year of discovery.  Discovery you say?  Why yes.  And here are some of my fabulous discoveries:

1.) House cleaning can be fun.  I can clean my tile floor  by putting  a towel under each foot, sloshing cleaner around me and skating across the floor.  I also discovered that you never want to employ that technique using wax, because tile is not fun to bust your butt on.  FYI it isn't nearly as effective as the old mop routine.

2.)  Playing Kinect is a reality check.You may think you have dance moves - until you watch yourself play Dance Central on the XBox Kinect.  Then you discover that you should probably confine your dancing to times when no one else is around.

3.)  You can never have too many books.  It's food for your brain and reading IS fun.

4.)  There are WAY too many online gamerswho have no manners!  Seriously, dudes, do NOT jump into my Gears of War 3 horde game if you (a) are not going to spend any money on fortifications, (b) are not going to spend any money on fortifications then try and muscle in on MY kills when I'm safe and cozy behind the fortifications I bled to buy, (c) are going to run your mouth constantly about totally stupid things just to hear yourself talk, or (d) are going to run around like a chicken with your head cut off, trying to steal kills and waste all my time having to pick your sorry ass up, THEN run off and leave me to die after I pick you up and get shot for the effort. okay, rant over:)

5.)  It is okay to age.  Gasp!  Did I just write that? Well, yes I did.  And yes, I do mean it.  You don't have to be young or pretty or skinny to matter.   And people who think that looks are everything are going to end up being miserable people (if they live long enough) because it's part of the human condition to age.  So, celebrate that grey hair, those wrinkles, droops and sags.  It means you're still alive.  And in my book, old and alive beats the heck out of young and dead any day of the week.

6.)  I'm pretty damn lucky.  I'm healthy, I have a home I really like, a man who has loved me for 40 years and still thinks I'm the best thing since peanut butter, I have great kids who make me proud every day, grandkids that are becoming exceptional people, wonderful friends, a job I love, I get to write when the spirit moves me and have people enjoy reading what I write.

7.)  We have a choice in how we choose to view the world.  I get to see the beauty of life because I choose to and the beauty in people because I want to. 

So, as far as discoveries go, I figure I did okay for 2011.  Hope you did too, and hope 2012 brings you many positive new discoveries about yourself and life around you. 

Cheers and Happy New Year!!

Ci

The Pursuit of Happiness?

Ask a dozen people "what do you want most from life?" and you normally get a majority of "happiness, health and wealth" responses.  It makes me wonder about happiness and if people - particularly women - are referring to the same state-of-being I label happiness, or if it's a horse of a different color all together.

For example, recently an acquaintance made the comment "I'd be the happiest woman on earth if I just looked the way I did at 35."  REALLY?  That's the key ingredient in the happiness recipe?  If I look younger I will automatically be happier?

So, I guess, if I follow that logic, if I am a perfect size 4, get the perfect hair color dye job, the perfect fake nails and boobs, have my face cosmetically altered so I shave off 15-20 years, have the perfect eyes and nose and oh-so-pouty lips then I would be supremely happy.

SERIOUSLY?  Why do we women assume that if we're the 'prettiest girl at the prom' that we'll also be the happiest?  Is there a defective gene in the female genetic code that prevents us from achieving happiness unless we're young and beautiful?  Does this gene prevent us from accepting the natural aging process? 

Think about it... I know I'm not the only one guilty of this.  A new ad in Cosmo or on tv or splashed across your news homepage about a new creme, lotion or gel that "erases fine lines and wrinkles" or "restores a youthful complexion", or "let's you lose 10 pounds in ten minutes" and we're running to Walgreen's with credit card in hand.  We know somewhere in the back of our resistant minds that it's not going to make us younger or thinner, but it's a hanging offense to get in our way of trying it.

And guess what?  Not only does it not promote happiness, it makes us Unhappy because it did not work.  Well, duh??

But what if it did?  There've been a lot of advances made and are a lot of procedures available that can trim the years off your face and your body.  So let's say we invest in all of it and come out at the end looking like the absolute best possible version of ourselves - or a clone of Kim Kardasian.  Will that really make us happy?

Probably not because in my experience we're never really happy with our appearance.  There's always someone prettier, or more shapely or with better hair.

So how do we achieve happiness without perfect looks?  I've developed a three part plan that's pretty damn effective:

1.  Stay away from mirrors as much as possible
2.  Either run like hell or duck behind something when someone points a camera at you
3.  Try and enjoy the journey of life, including aging.  After all, it IS part of the adventure.

And if all that fails .... tequila:)

Ranks and Raves

Wow, I'm not the world's best at blogging, am I? Maybe I should claim it's a Taoist thing "if one's words are no better than silence, don't speak." Yeah, that sounds good:)

It's a great time for me right now. Work is good, home life is good and the world is still turning. I got some exciting news this past week from work. Jaid Black (yes, THE Jaid Black, The Queen of Steam, herself) is going to be co-editing an anthology series with Ellora's Cave Editor-in-Chief, Kelli Collins and Jaid asked me to create a series of covers for it.

"Something Wicked This Way Comes"

I love it! And since I found out all kinds of ideas have been running through my head. I have an idea - something I don't think anyone has done yet (yes, really) and can't wait to get started on it bright and early Monday morning. Well, maybe not bright - I tend to start the day long before the sun - but I am psyched. Working with Jaid is a lot of fun!!

Oh, and big thanks to Jaid and Ellora's Cave CEO, Patty Marks for the day off this coming Tuesday. Employee appreciation day. Ladies, thank you!! You ROCK!!

I have a book in submission to my primo editor Meghan Conrad at Ellora's Cave. Am nervous about this one. It's for the new Blush line and so is not erotic. Yeah, there's a romance, but it's all about conspiracy, a terrorist act on home soil and the knee-jerk reaction people have to such an event and how easy it is to jump to conclusions and point fingers. Got my fingers crossed that it's accepted:)

On the home front things are calm and flowing like a clear stream - just the way I like it. I'm blessed with a man who is possessed of remarkable calm. Seriously, he could have been a Zen monk in another life. Yesterday he took me shopping at my favorite place .... Home Depot.

Yes, I am sickeningly addicted to tools and plants. Give me a home project and I'm happy as a pig in mud. (Which bears asking, ARE pigs happy in mud???) Anyway, I went nuts in the HD. So much so that we had to rent a truck to get everything home - tools and plants, dirt, mulch and manure. I am so going to have fun this weekend!!

Okay, so that's it for the Raves. Rants? Well, I have only one....

This past week I attended my first HOA meeting in my new neighborhood. Nice folks showed up for the annual election of officers. All was well except for this one - uh, fine lady - who seemed intent upon interrupting at every turn to complain. Mind you her complaints were petty but to her they were of primary importance. Whatever.

So, enough people arrived to have a quorum and this fine woman stands up and says that she doesn't want a new president. The one we have takes her calls at midnight. Say what? She calls the man at midnight to complain that there are leaves in the gutter in front of her house? Get off your ass and get a broom, b__ch!! Grrrr....

Anyway, she announces that since SHE doesn't want a new president, she's leaving so we won't have enough for a quorum and cannot vote. Oooookay, I guess that's one way to exercise your power, but seriously! She gloated for a few moments about how she was going to have it her way and have someone to call all hours of the night then flounced out.

When someone does that it demonstrates that (1) they are thoughtless to the opinions of anyone other than themselves, (2) they have no respect for others, (3) they are desperately seeking some kind of power, and (3) earn the prestigious Bitch of the Week award.

And that concludes the Rank of the week. I think the Raves won out this week:)

Wow, I really blogged this time, huh? Hope you all have a grand weekend and find more raves than rants in your life. Time for me to get in the yard and get my hands in the soil!!

Namaste:)

So happy together

Every time someone asks how long I've been married, and I tell them, I get an astonished look. 39 years? How is that possible? Am I happy?

Well, duh! If I wasn't happy I wouldn't be where I am. I'm not one to spend my life being miserable.

And 39 years doesn't seem like much to me. I still get giddy when my honey walks in the door:)

People always ask "what's the secret?" I didn't know there was one! What makes it work? Two people who want it to. That's it in a nutshell.

Of course, it helps to be mated to someone who holds to the same views - that marriage is a partnership of choice. Two people who choose to share lives. Not control, manage or dictate, but share. There is no ownership in marriage. That piece of paper is pretty meaningless (aside from certain tax benefits).

The real committment comes from us and the choice we make that "this is the person I want to share my life with".

And yes, it helps to have a mate who accepts you for who you are - warts and all, and doesn't see you as an extension of himself. I'm not honey's wife, or child's mother. I'm just me and he's fine with that. *Even if he does think I'm a little off-center in some respects:)

Still, it all boils down to choice and what we want. Anyone who wants to make a marriage work can do it. You just have to give it attention and care.

So, from a 39-year-newlywed, I say marriage is a wonderful place to live:) And with that thought, I'm gonna go hang out with honeyman and see what kind of adventure we can have on this fine day.

Happy Sunday!

Pet Peeves

Yeah, we all have them - including me. One of my biggest pet peeves is parents who expect television networks, filmmakers and game developers to take over the task of the parent.

Okay, some of you will slam me for that statement but I stand by it. I read an article recently where a woman was slamming a video game for it's content. She didn't want her child seeing what was in it and blamed the developer for producing content that was unacceptable.

One game came out a while back that had sex in it. Well, you got a chance to see a butt crack and the side of a breast IF you spent about 30 hours going through the game and building the relationship to the point the characters wanted to have sex. And it was some vanilla stuff - sort of a pseudo sex scene.

But boy did some parents bitch! They wanted the game developer to eliminate that content because they Did Not Want Their Child To See It!

Helloooooooo! First of all, 30 hours of killing versus 30 seconds of almost sex? Where's the balance here? And when did slicing people to ribbons, stealing cars and blowing the world all to hell become acceptable while sex is something horrid? "Now, listen little Tommy, watching people getting gutted, blowing off opponents heads and bombing cities is just fine - but for goodness sakes, stay away from sex because sex is baaaaaad!"

WTF?

But hey, if that's your opinion that's fine. Opinions are like elbows and assholes - everyone has one. It's good to have an opinion. But act like adults here. If you don't want your child to see something, don't make it available.

It's not like there's a squad out there, holding guns to parents' heads to FORCE them to buy the games for their kids?? I don't know about the rest of you, but when my children were growing up, if there was something I didn't want them to see or do I employed that magical technique and said "NO". Amazing how well it works.

So what's changed? Saying no is easy. For goodness sake - it's a one syllable word! And saying no doesn't scar a kid for life. In fact, it's rather good for them. Let's face it, in life we get told no a lot. We experience some disappointment and move on.

And hey, selfishly, I don't like people messing with game developers. There's some major talent at work here people. Have you watched an intro for a game like Gears or Modern Warfare or Left 4 Dead? There's some amazing animation and graphics there!

Not to mention a lot of fun gaming hours:)

Okay, rant over. One more cup of coffee and I'm going to kill some Zombie. Yes, kill. After all, they ARE Zombies and we don't want them infecting our world.

For those of you who haven't seen the trailer for Left 4 Dead 2, here's a peek. Now this is some quality animation!


Happy Sunday!

Sexy guys - you find them in the strangest places

Like in video games. Laugh all you want, but I swear I've found a couple of video characters that are BAD ASS!!


Like Marcus in Gears of War. Oh my goodness. Tall, dark and deadly - a tortured soul who's not quite reconciled with his past but who can seriously kick some ass. A man of few words with a steely gaze and a really big ...gun. Bring it on!!
And Francis in Left 4 Dead. Yes, Francis. Big, burly guy in jeans a vest and lots of inkwork. The man can handle himself when facing the Zombie Horde.



Sexy video characters. Who would've thought?

There's a whole new world out there in video-game land. And thanks to the guys i the family thinking I need to join the world of online play, I now have my own console. I plunk on my headset and get down to it. Sniping enemies (my fav), blasting zombies, running like hell when I run out of ammo:)

And checking out the characters to see who's the hottie:)

Hmmmm, me thinks it's time to play. A year from now, I'm going to be lethal:)

Yes, LETHAL. That's my story and I'm sticking with it. Watch out horde, here I come!!

Oh Francis.........